Timing is Everything
“Timing is not so much knowing when to speak, but knowing when to pause to get the laugh.” – Jack Benny
In life, good timing is more about making the right decisions at the right time than anything else. And the results of good timing are a satisfying
outcome and a rewarding life. As it stands, you are faced with a hundred decisions every day and thousands of choices are to be made throughout your lifetime. Some choices will determine something as mundane as what is for dinner, while others will dictate who you’ll have as a mate. All you have to do to get the best quality outcomes is master all those decisions. Easy, right?
The sciences are also rife with examples on the importance of timing. Neuroscientists have discovered that the human brain develops in a specific
sequence. Even minor changes in the timing of pre-life events have a major impact on whether your child will eventually speak properly, learn to do math well, or even form intimate relationships. Essentially, making the right decision at the right time in your life – whether your choice or not – can make a world of difference in finding that passionate purposeful life. Or, as can be the frightening alternative, living a life of misdirection or discouragement. Where do you start? Can you affect or control the outcomes of everything? Well, here are eight tips for improving your sense of timing and helping you make the right decision at the right time regarding the things that you can control.
We all like to watch professional dancers because they find the rhythm in music and move in beautiful expression of the melody. Your life also has a specific rhythm. God designed distinct seasons and times in your life. There will be times you will be challenged, and times you float through; times your confidence is low and you feel lost, and times your confidence is high and the path is clear; there will be seasons of productivity, seasons of effort, seasons of joy and seasons of grief. The single most important ingredient for making the right decision at the right time is to recognize that God has a specific pace and a plan designed uniquely for you and to acknowledge that His plan is best. Ultimately, He will lead you to discover the rhythm of YOUR life and help you move accordingly. As you understand more fully the cadence to your life you will begin to make the right decisions at the right time.
Ever smile (guilt-ridden, of course) at an angst-filled adolescent railing: “I just want my freedom?” As an adult, you understand that real freedom is far from being free. You know the flip side of freedom is having the responsibility. Not many teens are shouting, “I just want more responsibility.” It’s not nearly as appealing. Making the right decision at the right time becomes much easier when you accept the responsibility for the outcome of your choices first. When faced with difficult decisions, many people procrastinate or avoid the decision because they don’t want to suffer uncomfortable consequences. Countless people miss the opportunity to make important changes in their lives by putting off a difficult decision until it becomes “life demolishing” rather than life altering. Consider the parent that sends their middle school child to a counselor at the first sign of underage drinking as opposed to a parent that ignores the problem and ends up checking the 22-year-old into addiction treatment after years of devastating substance abuse. Difficult decisions rarely get easier with the passing of time. You lose your freedom to enjoy good outcomes the longer you put off accepting the responsibility for making a difficult decision.
When you are faced with an important decision, getting “input” from others is critical. Good counseling is scriptural and listening to trusted advisors is wise. But many poor decisions get made when people move past using good counsel and fall into “group think.” When group think takes over, critical thinking goes out the window. Soon you may find yourself conforming to a decision in an attempt to get everyone on the same page. To make the right decision at the right time, you must give up trying to please everyone. Get good counsel from a few trusted sources, then examine your own independent thoughts. Ask yourself the question: “What does my own good faith and integrity suggest?” In the end, it is rare that everyone will agree with your decision. But you are the expert on your life. Use your insider information to make the right decision for you, based on what is right, not who you want to please.
The right decision usually has an expiration date on it! Ever wait one day too late on a great stock tip? Or how about showing up an hour too late for your son’s piano recital? How many unfortunate couples end up in divorce court because one partner didn’t dedicate themselves to the marriage until the other partner was completely finished? Especially in the realm of relationships, taking care of problems quickly keeps daily annoyances from festering into deal killers. If you and your spouse exchange angry words today and don’t work it out, those words will be the basis for the fight you have next week. It takes courage and energy, but when you know things are not right in any area of your life, from your marriage to your business to your bank account, face up to it immediately. Problems don’t just go away. Instead, like mushrooms, they grow best when alone in the dark. Avoid making the right decision at the wrong time. Clear up your misunderstandings today.
When making big decisions, it’s easy to get overwhelmed with all the details. Break up the strain. Realize the difference between your strategy for today and your ultimate large goal down the road. Big decisions like starting a new job, or making a cross-country move, can be successfully accomplished by incorporating smaller strategies all pointed towards the same goal. Set a plan for today that works and make only the decisions that are imperative for today. As you manage the smaller issues decisively, the bigger picture remains in focus and you are more likely to stay on track with your big decision. There is nothing louder than a good idea when you’re sitting in silence.
Ever want to put your life on pause? Many people struggle with making quality decisions because they are bombarded with 3,000 RPM input. In the realm of decision making, what seems like a good idea at 60mph many be irresponsible or irrelevant at 25mph. An important key to making the right decision at the right time is taking the time to hear yourself think. Thinking takes focus, time without “incoming” messages to distract your thoughts. It’s like determining the quality of a gem stone you intend to purchase. Even if you are in a hurry, you put it under the light and examine the top and the bottom, turn it over and look at all sides. If you have to make a decision, even a quick decision, it is still important to find a few moments to stop all inbound information, slow down, and clear your mind to quietly consider the decision at hand. There is nothing louder than a good idea when you’re sitting in silence.
While you do your best to make the most responsible, best-timed decisions possible, things can still take a quick left turn! Understand the difference between your options and your alternatives. An alternative is a series of choices that produce the same outcome. So with one decision you may have many alternatives. All alternative choices lead to the same end result. But an option is a choice that produces a different outcome. Your options may be few, but your alternatives may be many. On your spiritual journey, God’s goal is to mature you to the likeness of Christ. You may have many different trails (or alternatives) that will take you to the same place. The option is whether you choose to go or not! Don’t miss the abundant life because you have already opted to go another way. Be prepared to change your plan if you sense God is leading you another way. Don’t feel ashamed to make a decision today that is 180 degrees from where you thought you were going yesterday.
Be aware your obedient decision may cost others something. Knowing who and what is important in your life, and in what order that importance takes precedence, is essential to making the right decision at the right time. Determine how your decision will impact the most important people and issues in your life before you finalize even the smallest decisions. Some decisions are made automatically when they are put in light of your priority list. Consider the man choosing to attend his wife’s Saturday morning birthday brunch or his buddies Saturday morning golf scramble. The decision just got very easy! Set your priorities and live by them. Setting your sights on making the right decisions at the right time can make major differences in your life. Remember, you’ll find desired outcomes and wonderful results…when you learn the principles and develop the right timing at the right time!
Gigi Cook is a licensed therapist working with couples and adolescents. She has served previously with Family Life Communications as Producer for Dr. Randy Carlson… OnCall (Now Intentional Living). You can visit her Web site at RenovationCounseling.com. Martin F. Perez is the Family Life Communications Incorporated Director of Marketing and Product Development, and serves as Editor-n-Chief for the ministry publication, Better Family Living Devotional.