When I was about seven or eight, I remember playing outside one day in front of our house with my sisters. The sidewalk was our playground that afternoon. I grew bored and picked up a handful of rocks and started throwing them into the tree one by one. My younger sisters followed suit. It entertained us for a bit, but then we needed a new challenge and decided to make our new target the cars on our street as they passed by.
I can’t remember how many passed before we hit one, but I do remember the instant guilt that overcame me when I “won” the game and the car screeched to a halt. I desperately wanted to rewind time and make a better decision, but the driver helped me meet my fate by asking to speak to our parents. I can’t remember the consequences or conversation, but I remember feeling regretful.
Years later, one of my kids made a poor decision, probably also out of boredom and curiosity, one that came with consequences. He could barely look at me when I sat down to talk with him about the incident. His head hung in shame, as he said, “You are going to be so disappointed in me.”⠀⠀
At that moment, my heart genuinely hurt for him. There was no disappointment — only a grateful heart for the opportunity to teach him about God’s grace. I sat him in my lap while he looked down at the ground. I told him I understood how bad he felt about his actions. I explained he didn’t have to walk around with that pit in his stomach and explained to him what grace was.
I haven’t thrown any rocks at cars since that hot summer day, but I occasionally get that all-too-familiar feeling. Although it feels different as an adult, I still experience regret, shame, failure, and embarrassment. Do you?
It’s not like we are getting in “trouble” or having to answer to a parent, but sometimes, letting ourselves down is just as bad. For instance, when we’ve snapped at a child or spouse. Or when our impatience is highlighted at the doctor’s office, as we wait twice as long as expected, or in the school pick-up line inching our way to the parking lot exit.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12: 9-10 ESV)
We all experience moments when we feel like we are failing, and our own wrath usually gets us. Sometimes, it’s easier to extend grace to others than to receive it for ourselves. Yet, God’s power is displayed in our earthly weakness.
Don’t we all need this reminder?
I’m learning to lean into grace.
For me, that looks like recalling the ways I’ve experienced it in the past and naming it when I see it in my daily life—even picking up the phone to share it with a friend.
Just last week, I was really struggling with how I was looking at a situation our family was going through. I had asked a friend for prayer one morning and later that day, I was at lunch with a group of women from church. None of them knew what I had shared with my friend, but one woman said something that specifically encouraged me in the struggle I had shared with my friend. I like to call these moments glimpses of grace, reminders of God’s goodness.
May our hearts and hands be open enough to receive these moments for what they are. May we remember the stones from our past, whether we threw them or not, aren’t ours to bear anymore. May we remember grace.
Sarah Nichols is a writer who loves encouraging women by sharing hope-filled stories that point others to Jesus. She lives in Tucson, AZ, with her husband and four kids. You can find more from Sarah at http://sarahnicholswrites.com.
