Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)What does it mean to “train up a child?” And what about all those kids who DO depart from “the way?” Dr. Randy is here to help you raise Godly kids in an ungodly world. Got questions? Bring ’em!
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Intentionally LEAD Your Familyby Randy Carlson I’d like to share one thing that you can intentionally do to leave a godly heritage for the next generation: Intentionally lead your family. In the Book of 1st Timothy 3 we have there the qualifications that Paul lays out to Timothy on what’s required to be a deacon or a bishop or a leader in the church. In verse 5, 1st Timothy 3:5, it says: For if this man does not know how to rule over his own house how will he take care of the church of God. The message here for me and I think for each of us no matter if we’re mom or dad, single or married, is that we need to lead our family. As I took the word lead, l-e-a-d, and I thought of it in terms of an acrostic, there were four things that came to mind, four words or phrases or thoughts that come to mind for each of these four letters.
LFor the letter L what immediately came to my mind was that we need to live what we preach. I like to think that we need to let our children catch our faith for themselves We need to live what we preach, so as we live our lives to let our children be infected by our faith. Let them be so taken over by the faith that they’ve seen in us that it become their faith that it becomes a part of their experience.
EFor the letter E in lead to intentionally lead your family is the thought of encouragement. Encourage your children to seek God’s approval and not yours because when they find God’s approval they will automatically have your approval. The goal of Intentional Living is to figure out what pleases Christ and then do it. So as we encourage our children to seek God’s approval in very practical ways as we are teaching our children and nurturing our children to encourage them to pray about it, to encourage them to seek what the Bible says. They may be struggling with friendships in school. They may be struggling with their siblings. They may be struggling as young adults in finding a job or making decisions for their career. If we can continue to point them toward God to seek his approval, at that point they really do find our approval as well.
AFor the letter A allow your children to fail. Failure to God is measured differently than failure to men. Man I tell you this particular one is an issue to me because I don’t want my kids to fail. I don’t want them to have to go through the problems and the challenges and the disappointments in life that I’ve gone through. We want our children’s lives to be better than ours. We want them to be successful in everything that they do, but we cheat them sometimes from God’s very best when we protect them from the kind of failures from which they can learn lessons for life. I look back over my life it’s those times of failure either at something I was pursuing, or an idea that I had or a dream, or just not working as diligently as I should in school, maybe failing a test or failing to complete a task, and then having to face the consequences that causes us to grow and mature. So allowing your children to fail is part of being a good leader.
DAnd then for the letter D decide and act. Leaders make decisions and then act even in the face of disapproval. Discipline your children. Move the family in a forward direction. Be a problem solver. Leaders not only make decisions and act, but they make decisions and act in a direction that will move the family toward the values and goals.