A Few Thoughts From the Intentional Living Center
Three Essentials to Your Intentional MarriageDr. Randy Carlson As in many relationships, my wife Donna and I have experienced differences in our marriage over the years. Such conflict is normal and is best dealt with in a loving and caring way. I remember when we were first married. Being the youngest of my family, I expected Donna to pick up where my mother left off. I learned early on that Donna wasn’t going to do so, that I had to start picking up after myself. And I learned this not by arguing, but as we communicated lovingly with each other. I’ve also learned that when I give Donna a helping hand, such as working together in the yard, she feels loved and closer to me. Likewise, when Donna takes time to say, “Randy, I really appreciate what you’re doing,” I feel loved and closer to her because of her words of affirmation. We’ve agreed to do the things that add value to our marriage, and it’s still working today. More than anything, Donna and I share the same values, belief and goals about God and life. Our agreement in these vital areas has formed the foundation of our relationship. It provides the glue that keeps us bonded together as one. I see three things that are essential for your intentional marriage:
ValuesIndividually, write a list of your five most important life values. Then as a couple, compare your lists and discuss them agreeing to shared values that define you as husband and wife.
BeliefsWhether they be about life, money, God or raising children, find agreement in your beliefs and live them with your Head (thinking), Heart (emotions) and Hands (actions).
GoalsFind the One Thing that the two of you can anticipate and work together to achieve. Then plan how to make your goals a reality. Ultimately, you’ll share many One Things.
Bo SternBo on About Bo…
- I am wife & mom, writer, speaker, pastor and world-class procrastinator.
- I love words when they’re woven into stories and people when they let their stories shine.
- Think of your most unorganized friend. I am that. Times eleven.
- My favorite place in the world is home. My second favorite place is Westside Church, where I have been on staff for 10 years. My third favorite place is Positano, Italy.
- I am passionate about helping find a cure for ALS, a disease my husband has been fighting since 2011 (I’m not actually helping find a cure, rather I’m helping find money to help find a cure…I’m not allowed to go near science.)
- My first book was released this year. It’s called Beautiful Battlefields and my dearest dream is that it makes you laugh, cry and believe that you can become your best self in the middle of the hardest fight.
- I believe that Jesus is worth pursuing and that grace changes everything.
- I can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org