Today’s Program We’ve been focusing on friendship all week, and today, Dr. Randy wants you to understand the dangerous impact opposite sex friendships can have on your marriage. Join the conversation by calling the program at 1-888-888-1717 or share your thoughts on our Facebook page. Be sure to “Like” us while you’re there!
See Below for BONUS TEACHING from Dr. Randy on “The Perils of Opposite Sex Friendships”
BONUS Teaching from Dr. Randy and the Intentional Living Center
Perils of Opposite-Sex Friendshipsby Dr. Randy Carlson (from Dr. Carlson’s book, “the Power of One Thing.”) Friendship is the core of a solid marriage relationship, creating a safe harbor. Yet those peaceful waters quickly become hazardous with an inappropriate opposite-sex friendship. How can you perceive you’re in a friendship truly dangerous to your marriage? Dave’s story provides a compelling example. A man of great position, he sadly fell short as a husband and father, even shirking his responsibilities as a leader. Dave was also a lustful man, which led him to a woman who was beautiful – and married. But her husband served in the military, leaving her alone and vulnerable. She couldn’t resist Dave’s advances, and their affair resulted in an unwanted pregnancy as well as untold destruction for their families. Sound familiar? It’s a story from the Bible – David and Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11).
Too importantAlmost all opposite-sex friendships begin innocently. But before you know it, you develop an emotional attachment, sharing hurts and concerns (particularly relating to your spouse). You receive a sympathetic ear, attention and care. Suddenly, that innocent friendship becomes important, too important, and a real threat to your marriage. Note the key difference between healthy and unhealthy opposite-sex friendships:
An unhealthy opposite-sex friendship
- Is exclusive – you’ve purposefully cut out your spouse from the relationship.
- Seeks privacy – alone time outside of normal interaction at work or church.
- Gets too personal – you do or share things that are kept secret from your spouse.
- Becomes a state of mind – you think, even obsess, about your opposite-sex friend when you’re not together.
A healthy opposite-sex friendship
- Includes your spouse – particularly important if you feel a need to encourage or “minister” to your friend. Always do this as a husband and wife team.
- Sets limits – if your friend wants to share about his/her marriage, you politely tell them to talk to a pastor or counselor.
- Keeps no secrets – there is nothing your friend knows about you that’s not already common knowledge to your spouse.