One of the Ten Keys to an Intentional Home
Each of us is looking for meaning and belonging. We want someone to love us, and we want to feel loved. God’s intention for the home is to be the launching pad for life. Our homes should be where we experience freedom to be ourselves, to feel that we matter, that we belong, and that forgiveness makes a difference.
When the basic needs of life are missed, people often grow up to feel like they’re out of place or don’t fit in. That’s why the basic needs, the Ten Keys to an Intentional Home, are so important. The first of the ten is addressed in this blog.
Before you start reading, there’s a little bit of homework. As you reach the end of this blog, will you, together as a family:
- Talk about the question presented.
- Pray
- Give God an opportunity to show up in your family life.
I hope this leads to powerful conversations with your family, a deeper feeling of belonging to one another and to the family of God, becoming more authentic with one another and to better understanding how your home can be the launching pad for life.
Now let’s look at the very first principle:
Love each other as God intended.
Jesus said, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another” (John 13:34 NIV).
I created a little test, based on 1 Corinthians 13, that we can ask ourselves and our families. In that passage in Scripture, it says love is patient, kind, never rude and not easily angered. Love protects one another; it trusts, and it keeps no record of wrong. Love is long-suffering. But it’s also realistic, and at times love requires touch. Boundaries have to be put in place, and when we truly love one another, we know it, we feel it.
So, why is loving our family so difficult?
A helpful and powerful way of looking at any relationship that may be struggling, including our family relationships is to have an intention whenever we interact with our family. The intention may be spoken or unspoken. Sometimes we’re aware of it and sometimes we’re not. But generally, in the family the intention is good.
Whenever my intention to say or do something toward my wife, Donna, or my children, is met with their expectation and my action doesn’t match their expectation, it’s always going to create anger, frustration or disappointment. We judge ourselves by our good intentions – and our intensions are generally good – but our family members will judge us by their expectations of us.
One of the ways we can genuinely love one another is to consider the other person’s expectations before you speak. When you’re about to speak to a family member, think about their intention before you consider your own expectation, and also be patient, kind and forgiving.
So here is your assignment – ask: When do you feel most loved in our family? As you go around the table listen closely to each answer and then talk about it together as a family.
