I often talk about living intentionally because I believe that how we choose to live each day, the decisions we make, and the way we respond to others significantly impacts our lives. One of the most important intentional choices we can make—one that brings freedom and peace—is the decision to forgive. And I’m not just talking about the big, life-changing moments of forgiveness. I mean everyday forgiveness, the kind that we practice in the small moments, with the little offenses that come our way.
It’s easier to think of forgiveness as something we only need when a huge conflict or betrayal erupts. But forgiveness requires us to live it out daily, even in the small things.
Jesus said, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins,” (Matthew 6:14-15 NIV). Whether it’s forgiving someone for a hurtful comment, letting go of a grudge because someone cut you off in traffic, or choosing to release anger over being overlooked at work, everyday forgiveness matters to God, and it should also matter to you.
Forgiveness releases others and trusts God with the outcome.
Let’s be real, the small things can add up over time. If we don’t forgive, those minor annoyances and hurts can fester and turn into bitterness. We carry that around, and before we know it, it affects our relationships and our own peace of mind. That’s why the Bible reminds us in Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (NIV). It’s a tall order, but it’s one we’re called to because we’ve been forgiven first.
Forgiveness Mirrors God’s Grace
Forgiveness’s foundation is God’s grace. Think about it—God forgave us completely through Christ. He didn’t wait for us to be perfect or to make amends for all we’ve done wrong. In the same way, we’re called to extend that grace to others.
I know it can feel like an impossible task sometimes, especially when someone has hurt us deeply. Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing their behavior or allowing them to hurt us again. It simply means releasing them and trusting God with the outcome.
When we forgive, we mirror the grace God has shown us. It’s a way of saying, “I’m letting go of this offense because through Christ I’m forgiven so much more.” We can then begin to shift our thinking in how we approach forgiveness—not as a burden, but as an opportunity to live out the grace we’ve received.
Forgiveness is for Your Own Good
One of the most important things I’ve learned about forgiveness is that it’s not just for the other person—it’s for me. Holding on to unforgiveness doesn’t hurt the person who wronged us nearly as much as it hurts us. It’s like that old saying, “Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” When we hold on to anger, bitterness, or a desire for revenge, we suffer.
The Mayo Clinic even backs this up with research. Studies show that forgiving someone can lead to healthier relationships, greater mental well-being, less anxiety and stress, lower blood pressure, fewer symptoms of depression, a stronger immune system, and improved heart health. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a pretty good list of reasons to practice forgiveness every day!
Keep Short Accounts
Another important aspect of intentional living is keeping short accounts. In Ephesians 4:26, we’re told, “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry” (NIV). Refuse to allow conflict, anger, or resentment to linger. When we hold on to grudges or offenses, they start to weigh us down. Keeping short accounts addresses these issues as they arise, offers forgiveness, and helpsus to let go so we don’t carry that burden into the next day—or the next week, month, or year.
I’ve seen too many people weighed down by old hurts because they didn’t take the opportunity to forgive sooner. But when we choose to forgive in the moment, we free ourselves to move forward without the baggage of past conflicts.
Forgiveness releases someone from the debt they owe you emotionally.
It’s Not about Letting People Hurt You
Now, I want to make something clear: forgiveness doesn’t mean that we allow someone to continue hurting us. I’ve heard from many people who struggle with forgiveness because they feel like forgiving means they have to let someone keep mistreating them. But that’s not what forgiveness is.
Forgiveness is about releasing someone from the debt they owe us emotionally. It’s not about allowing harmful behavior to continue. You can forgive someone and still set boundaries to protect yourself from further hurt. It’s okay to say, “I forgive you, but I won’t allow you to treat me that way anymore.” That’s not holding a grudge—that’s wisdom.
Freedom of Forgiveness
At the end of the day, forgiveness is freedom—yours and mine. When we forgive, we free ourselves from the emotional and spiritual weight of holding onto hurt. We allow God to work in us and through us. And we choose to live in peace rather than conflict when we forgive.
So, here’s my encouragement for you today. If you’re carrying the weight of unforgiveness:
- Let it go.
- Ask God for the grace to forgive.
- Trust Him with the outcome.
It doesn’t mean you’re excusing what happened, and it doesn’t mean you have to continue in a hurtful relationship. But it does mean that you’re choosing freedom for yourself, and you’re living out the grace that Christ has given you.
Listen online to callers who answer the question: How Has Forgiveness Impacted Your Everyday Life?
Mayo Clinic Staff. (2022, November 23). Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness. Mayo Clinic. Retrieved from https://www.mayoclinic.org
