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inTENtionals for When to Fix or Finish a Friendship

  • January 11, 2018
Picture of Dr. Randy Carlson

Dr. Randy Carlson

Wise choices will watch over you. Understanding will keep you safe. (Proverbs 2:11 NLT)

Friendship is a wonderful thing and a gift from God to allow us to enjoy the company of another. But sometimes that relationship drifts away from being a true friendship and it becomes something else. Perhaps it becomes more of a minsitry than a friendship. Whatever the case, here’s my Top Ten list for how to recognize when your frienship needs to either be FIXED, or FINISHED.

  1. You see your friend’s name on your caller ID, and you freeze.
    My children, our love should not be just words and talk; it must be true love, which shows itself in action. (1 John 3:18 GNT)
  2. You wouldn’t pick that person to be your friend, if you had to make that decision today.
    With all your heart you must trust the Lord and not your own judgment. Always let him lead you,  and he will clear the road for you to follow. (Proverbs 3:5-6 CEV)
  3. You feel drained after spending time together with your friend.
    We never give up. Our bodies are gradually dying, but we ourselves are being made stronger each day. These little troubles are getting us ready for an eternal glory that will make all our troubles seem like nothing.  (2 Corinthians 4:16-17 CEV)
  4. You feel obligated to spend time with your friend.
    “When a servant comes in from plowing or taking care of sheep, does his master say, ‘Come in and eat with me’? No, he says, ‘Prepare my meal, put on your apron, and serve me while I eat. Then you can eat later.’ And does the master thank the servant for doing what he was told to do? Of course not. 10 In the same way, when you obey me you should say, ‘We are unworthy servants who have simply done our duty.’” (Luke 17:7-10 NLT)
  5. You feel used by your friend.
    So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.  Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith. (Gal 6:9-10 NLT)
  6. You’re starting to pull away from your friend.
    But you must stay deeply rooted and firm in your faith. You must not give up the hope you received when you heard the good news. (Colossians 1:23 CEV)
  7. You’re losing respect for your friend.
    Guard what God has entrusted to you. Avoid godless, foolish discussions with those who oppose you with their so-called knowledge. Some people have wandered from the faith by following such foolishness. (1 Timothy 6:20-21 NLT)
  8. You’re losing trust in your friend.
    Even my best friend, the one I trusted most, the one who shared my food, has turned against me… They will not triumph over me, and I will know that you are pleased with me. You will help me, because I do what is right; you will keep me in your presence forever. (Psalm 41:9, 11-12 GNT)
  9. You no longer share the same values with your friend.
    But if you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.” (Colossians 3:5-7 NLT)
  10. You’ve outgrown your friend.
    But you, my friends, already know this. Be on your guard, then, so that you will not be led away by the errors of lawless people and fall from your safe position. But continue to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. (2 Peter 3:17-18 GNT)
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