Four Ways to Ignite Your Marriage

June 19, 2016

Randy Carlson

Dr. Randy Carlson

You can’t have a great marriage unless you have a sparkling attitude.

I believe that, and found support for my opinion when I interviewed Sandy Ralya, author of “The Beautiful Wife” and founder of a marriage mentoring ministry.

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One of the things she believes with all her heart is that marriage should never be a win-lose proposition. It’s not about one person being right and the other being wrong. It’s not about one being a doormat and the other always being in the lead. Marriage, she says, should be win-win, and where the husband and wife triumph together by honoring one another according to the mutual submission principle of Ephesians 5:21.

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I love that! Living out biblical characteristics such as servanthood and submission and making sure you are heading in the right direction together is vital to having a successful, intentional marriage. To make that happen, you need to keep the right attitude as a couple. You can ignite renewed love and trust in your relationship by putting into practice these four simple tips.

Think before you speak. A defensive response will always be seen as negative and divisive. It’s also a signal you think you’re right and your spouse is wrong.
Focus your mind. Philippians 4:8 says, “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” You can’t help but have a win-win marriage when your mind is focused on these things.
Find a goal you can share. Cast a vision for your marriage and find an inspirational goal that brings purpose and hope to your relationship. Make sure it’s an outcome you can achieve only as a team.
Have something to look forward to. Whether it’s a date night next week or a weekend getaway next month, create opportunities to have time together. Nurture each other.