Intentional love starts at home
Most of us want to be more like Jesus. We want to love better. We want our homes to feel like safe places. We want our faith to be more than just what we believe—but something we live, every day. And yet, sometimes love is the hardest thing to do in the relationships that matter most.
I’ve learned over the years that loving like Jesus doesn’t happen when we’re just reacting, rushing, or trying to keep the peace. Loving like Jesus requires an intentional choice. It’s a habit of the heart—and a decision of the will often made multiple times a day.
If we want our lives—and especially our homes—to reflect Christ, then love must lead the way.
Jesus said, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another” (John 13:34 NIV). Notice He didn’t say “try your best” or “love when it’s easy.” He said, “As I have loved you”—which raises the bar. Because Jesus’ love is consistent, sacrificial, and grace-filled. It goes far beyond feelings or convenience.
Jesus’ love is:
- Patient when others test your limits.
- Kind when irritation wants to take over.
- Humble when pride would be easier.
- Forgiving when the wound still stings.
Now, I’ll be the first to say—this isn’t easy—especially at home. In fact, I think that’s where it’s hardest.
If you’re wondering why it can be so hard to love at home, here’s a principle I’ve come to believe it’s because:
We judge ourselves by our intentions—but judge others by their actions.
Most of us have good intentions, especially when it comes to our families. We want to be patient. We want to listen. We want to be kind and loving. But when our actions fall short of someone else’s expectations, there’s a gap—and that gap often fills up with frustration, hurt, or resentment.
That’s why intentional love is so powerful. When you pause to consider not just what you intend, but how it’s received—you begin to love more like Jesus.
Before you speak to your spouse, your kids, or even your in-laws—ask yourself: “What’s their expectation of me in this moment? What do they need—not just what do I want to say?”
That simple pause can change the atmosphere in your home.
1 Corinthians 13 gives us a clear picture of what love looks like. It says love is—
- Patient.
- Kind.
- Not easily angered.
- Keeps no record of wrongs.
- Always protects.
- Always hopes.
- Always perseveres.
That’s not accidental behavior. That’s intentional living.
Love looks like holding your tongue instead of proving your point or choosing grace over sarcasm. Sometimes it’s a hug, a listening ear, or a simple “I forgive you,” when it’s the last thing you feel like saying.
Loving like Jesus is seldom big or dramatic. In fact, the most powerful acts of love happen in everyday moments—if we’re paying attention.
Love changes the atmosphere.
I’m not always successful, but here are a few ways I try to live this out in my own life:
1. Be interruptible.
Jesus often stopped what He was doing to meet a need. That’s hard for those of us who like plans and structure—but it’s one way love shows up.
2. Choose service over selfishness.
That might mean folding the laundry before you’re asked or checking in with a child who’s had a tough day.
3. Forgive quickly and generously.
Don’t keep score. Let go of what’s been confessed and model the same grace Jesus offers us.
4. Speak truth—but in love.
There’s a difference between being right and being righteous. When love leads the conversation, it’s easier to speak truth that others can receive.
5. Pray before you act.
Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is pause and ask, “Lord, how do You want me to respond right now?”
Let Love Transform Your Home
Love changes the atmosphere. When love leads, it softens hearts. It heals relationships. It builds bridges. And it creates homes where people feel safe, known, and accepted.
That’s why loving like Jesus is a powerful way to live intentionally. And when we make intentional love the tone of our homes, we’re giving our families a picture of the gospel they’ll never forget.
I’d like to give you a question to talk about together as you sit around the table tonight. Nothing complicated—just a starting point. Ask each person: “When do you feel most loved in our family?”
Take time to really listen to one another. You might be surprised by what you hear. Then pray together. Ask God to help each of you love more intentionally—just like Jesus does.
Loving like Jesus doesn’t come naturally—but it’s always possible. It starts with one small, intentional step at a time.
