inTENtionals for Parents of Adult Children

May 15, 2017

Dr. Randy Carlson

Make the jump from rules to relationship. “Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged.” (Colossians 3:21)
Roles change at the point when responsibility ends. “Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. ‘Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth’.” (Ephesians 6:1-3)
Encourage them. “I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” (Ephesians 3:16-19)
Establish loving limits. “Come, my young friends, and listen to me, and I will teach you to honor the Lord. Would you like to enjoy life? Do you want long life and happiness? Then keep from speaking evil and from telling lies. Turn away from evil and do good; strive for peace with all your heart. The Lord watches over the righteous and listens to their cries.” (Luke 12:19-21)
Bite your tongue. “Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.” (Proverbs 21:23)
Leave no unfinished business. “I am planning to visit you for the third time. But I still won’t make a burden of myself. What I really want is you, and not what you have. Children are not supposed to save up for their parents, but parents are supposed to take care of their children.” (2 Corinthians 12:14)
Live every day like it’s your last. “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.” (2 Timothy4:7-8)
Tell them what you care about and what you expect. “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.” (Philippians 4:8-9)
Be available, but not TOO available. “Jesus answered: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind. This is the first and most important commandment. The second most important commandment is like this one. And it is, ‘Love others as much as you love yourself’.” (Matthew 22:37)
Pray for them… Daily! “So I never stop being grateful for you, as I mention you in my prayers. I ask the glorious Father and God of our Lord Jesus Christ to give you his Spirit. The Spirit will make you wise and let you understand what it means to know God. My prayer is that light will flood your hearts and that you will understand the hope that was given to you when God chose you. Then you will discover the glorious blessings that will be yours together with all of God’s people.” (Ephesians 1:16-18)