Parenting help when your child isn’t sure
Dr. Randy Carlson, with wisdom from Sue Bolin of Probe Ministries
As parents, we often ask with heavy hearts, “Why is my child questioning their faith?”
Perhaps you’re there right now. Maybe your son, who once led worship at youth group, now says he’s an atheist. Or your daughter, once so full of faith, now calls Christianity intolerant or irrelevant.
The heartbreak is real. But so is the hope.
And the first step to loving our prodigal children well is understanding why they’ve walked away in the first place.
When Doubts Go Unanswered
According to Sue Bolin of Probe Ministries, many young people begin looking for answers about faith long before they ever voice them out loud. “Ministries that have done research, find that students started having questions in middle school about the connection of faith and science, about walking out what it means to be a follower of Christ.”
Questions like:
- How can a good God allow suffering?
- Is the Bible really trustworthy?
- Can faith and science coexist?
Sue continues, “And they’ve got questions and doubts, and they didn’t get answers. Part of that may be that the people who are ministering to them in their church or their parents, didn’t feel confident to ask them. The kids may not have liked the answers. Or it wouldn’t even occur to a lot of kids to go to their own parents or youth leaders.”
Sue says, “They’re just going to go to Uncle Google… It’s a terrible place to find truth.”
They’ve Never Been Told Why Christianity Is True
Another big reason young people leave the faith is that they don’t actually know it’s true. They might know what Christianity teaches, but not why it matters or how we know it’s real.
“They’re not receiving good teaching in worldview and apologetics… They don’t know for sure that Jesus Christ is God, and why He should be the only way” —Sue shared.
Too often, our churches and homes focus on behavior—what to believe and how to live—but we forget the importance of training them to understand why the Christian worldview stands apart.
As 1 Peter 3:15 reminds us: “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have” (NIV). Our kids need those reasons—and they need them from us.
Culture Is Loud and Persistent
Today’s kids aren’t just distracted—they’re being discipled by digital culture 24/7. Social media influencers, YouTube personalities, popular shows, music, and peers all carry messages—often hostile to Christian faith.
Whoever is most intentional for your kids is gonna win.
This isn’t cause to panic—but a call to purposeful parenting. Are we actively shaping their spiritual foundation, or just hoping the church can fill in the gaps? Because culture isn’t waiting. And neither should we.
Behind the Doubts? Deep Spiritual Warfare
We must remember this isn’t just intellectual; it’s spiritual. “Satan knows his days are limited, and he’s pumped up the attacks on our youth… There’s a vitriol and a meanness coming after our kids like never before,” Sue said.
Ephesians 6:12 reminds us: “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood… but against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (NIV). Our children aren’t the enemy.
Their doubt isn’t a rebellion to crush—it’s a battle to intercede for.
So What Can We Do?
1. Create a Safe Space for Questions
Let your home be a place where your child can ask anything—not with fear of judgment, but with the expectation of thoughtful, loving conversation.
If you don’t know the answer, it’s okay to say, “Let’s find out together.”
2. Equip Them with the Truth
Introduce them to resources that ground faith in reason and evidence. Ministries like Probe.org and books like Mere Christianity or Cold-Case Christianity help young minds wrestle well with big questions.
Don’t assume they’ll absorb truth through osmosis—teach them intentionally.
3. Show Them Jesus—Consistently and Gently
Your daily love, grace, patience, and humility matter more than any sermon. Our faith is made visible not just by what we say, but how we live.
As Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 11:1, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ” (NIV).
4. Pray Like It All Depends on God—Because It Does
You may not be able to answer every question or undo their doubts, but you can pray. Constantly. Boldly. Lovingly.
Sue continued, “There will come a time when he’s not going to be able to deny that God is there.” Don’t underestimate the power of a praying parent. Many of us are living testimonies to the prayers of our own mothers, fathers, and grandparents.
The Hope We Hold Onto
If your child has walked away, remember: their story isn’t finished.
Maybe they’re struggling with pain or anger toward God. Maybe they’ve just never known what they believe. Maybe they’re drowning in digital noise and lies. But the same Jesus who pursued the prodigal is pursuing them.
And your love, your prayers, and your intentional presence can help open their heart to His voice again.
- You’re not alone.
- You’re not powerless.
- And it’s not too late.
Want to dig deeper?
Here are a few Scripture passages to meditate on:
- Luke 15 – The parable of the prodigal son
- 1 Peter 3:15 – Be ready to give an answer
- Romans 12:12 – Faithful in prayer
- Ephesians 6:12 – Spiritual warfare
If you’re looking for tools to help your child rebuild their faith, I encourage you to explore the resources at Probe.org or connect with others walking this journey.
And remember, love never fails (1 Corinthians 13).
Pray for Others
Be part of something powerful. Visit our Prayer Wall and lift up others who are walking through challenges. You never know how your prayer might be the encouragement someone needs today. Join us in prayer and be a light for someone else.
