Welcome to the second part of our blog series on rookie parenting. If you read the first part, you already know the wealth of wisdom shared by experienced parents on Intentional Living. Let’s go a little deeper into advice from experienced parents to help you navigate the rewarding journey of parenting.
*Candy from Arizona offers a refreshing perspective on the importance of letting go of perfection. She candidly shares her struggle with feeling overwhelmed by the messes and pressures of maintaining a perfect home. “I was just overwhelmed. My three kids are less than two years apart. I was homeschooling; my husband was traveling, and I was just overwhelmed about how much mess this recipe is going to make … They’re still teenagers. I’m trying to relax more, stay off Pinterest and not look at all the picture-perfect homes and stuff like that.”
Perfection is an issue for a lot of people because so much of what is projected on social media is always the perfect stuff.
“And that’s not the way life really works. ” she confesses.
The constant pursuit of perfection can steal your joy and prevent you from truly engaging with our children.
Embrace the chaos and focus on creating memorable moments instead.
*Jackie from Arizona opened up about her struggle with being emotionally present for her children and grandchildren due to personal and health challenges. She deeply regrets not being more affectionate and involved. “I’ve been through the ringer just in the last 10 years, and I lost my mom to suicide 11 years ago. I knew she loved me, but she wasn’t really affectionate. I told myself that I would be more affectionate to my kids, and I haven’t been. I got sick last year, and I’ve failed to be a good grandma. I have 22 grand babies. In the last couple of years when I was sick, I haven’t been present. That’s all I ever wanted, to be present with my kids and make sure they know I love them,” she shared. “But it’s been a struggle. I just wish that I could tell them.”
I advised Jackie to focus on one intentional action to strengthen relationships. Whether it’s a daily prayer, a simple text, or a heartfelt note, small consistent efforts can bridge emotional gaps and foster stronger connections.
Referring to Dr. Gary Chapman’s work on love languages, *James from New Mexico explains, “Understanding what your child’s love language is and being able to fill their cup will give them so much love and energy.”
The five love languages—words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch—are essential tools in connecting deeply with our children. By recognizing and responding to their unique emotional needs, we can build a more loving and supportive relationship.
Cherishing Time
*Anna from Michigan lost her 3-and-a-half-year-old daughter unexpectedly due to complications from surgery. “Take all the pictures, take all the videos… You never know when those little ones might be gone,” she advises.
Cherish every moment.
Not one of us is promised tomorrow, and capturing memories through photos and videos can often provide some comfort and joy.
Reflecting on her own experiences, *Leah from Arizona notes, “When raising teenagers or with any kid, you have that emotional connection—when they’re so emotionally distraught—because their friends are allowed to do this, or their friend has this phone … and you know that social media or too much screen time is not good for them, but they’re emotionally so caught up in what’s not fair, what they don’t have, and you feel bad …so you give in or you go lax on your rules. Looking back, I realize had I held out, had I stayed stronger, maybe my child wouldn’t have gone through the agony that they went through if I’d stuck to my guns.”
Consistency in parenting helps children understand expectations and the consequences of their actions. It’s crucial to hold your ground, even when it’s difficult, to ensure your children learn valuable life lessons.
*Jonah from Arizona shared his experience teaching his son sign language, which helped in early communication. “My one thing is always spending time with the child, always being there, always playing when the kid wants to play,” he says.
Engaging in activities your children enjoy not only strengthens your bond with them but also fosters their development and confidence. Prioritize spending quality time with them and showing interest in their world.
Balancing Realities and Expectations
Let me remind you about the need for balance and intentionality in parenting.
Whoever is most intentional in the life of your son or daughter is going to win their heart.
In today’s world, numerous influences vie for your child’s attention. By being the most intentional and present influence, you can guide them through the complexities of life. Focus on being a positive, reliable presence in their lives, countering the negative influences they may encounter.
As we conclude this second part of our rookie parenting series, remember the wisdom shared:
- Let go of perfection.
- Overcome emotional barriers.
- Speak your child’s love language.
- Cherish every moment.
- Be consistent and firm.
- Invest time and energy.
- And balance realities and expectations.
Parenting is a dynamic and evolving journey, filled with opportunities to grow and connect with our children. Your intentional efforts will not only shape your children’s lives but also create a nurturing and loving family environment.
Click here to listen to the podcast, Rookie Parenting Part 2. Thank you for joining us in this series. I hope these blogs have provided valuable guidance and inspiration for your parenting journey.
*The names of individuals have been changed to protect their privacy and maintain confidentiality. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or deceased, is purely coincidental. The stories and experiences are real, but personal details have been altered as a courtesy to those who generously shared their journeys with us.
